Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving updates

Well, I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and filled your bellies with turkey and all kinds of yummy things!! :-) Me, I'm STILL full from about 5pm. I enjoyed lots of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, etc etc... I think I ate enough food to last me through the weekend.

Anyway, Thanksgiving Day for me was, well, interesting. It's been go-go-go from the minute I woke up this morning... baking and getting things ready to take with us, then leaving for Russ's mom's house around 12:45pm. We had his mom's to go to at 1, then my parents at 4.

As I said in my previous post, this was the first holiday in a LONG while that we've spent with Russ's brother and their family. I didn't go there with high expectations that everyone would be holding hands and singing songs while swaying back and forth, but I WAS hoping that it would be a bit of a 'new beginning' to get the family back on track.

It was, to say the least, civil. Russ and his brother didn't talk much, but when they DID talk, it was civil. A bit forced, but pleasant. Basically "hi how are you, how have you been" small talk. (It's a start, I figure.) But I felt somewhat that you could have cut the tension in the air with a knife at times. It's just that no one really knew what to say to eachother. I mean, no one's gonna come out and say, "So.... uh...where have you been the past 3 years?" Ugh. I felt like I was sitting there twiddling my thumbs trying to think of things to say. I mean, what do you say to people you really haven't seen in 3 years because your husband and his brother are both too stubborn to give a little and put some effort into mending their relationship?!?!?

And the kids... oh. It just BROKE MY HEART to see them so grown up and to know that all this mess caused me to miss out in the past 3 years of their lives. I mean, the youngest was just a baby when Russ and I got married, so she doesn't know me from a hill of beans. When we walked in Russ's mom's house, she was sitting on the floor playing, and just looked up at us and stared as if she was thinking, "Who are YOU?!" It's just so sad. The girl is 3 years old, I'm her aunt, and she has NO IDEA who I am. The next youngest MIGHT remember me, but I doubt it. She was in our wedding, but was only 2 1/2 or so at the time. The two oldest girl and the only boy are the ones I got to know the most, and so they were talking to me alot, about what they've been up to and everything. It was so great to talk with them and hear about them being in dancing, basketball, singing lessons, etc. They are all growing up so fast and I really don't want to miss out on any more years of their lives!!

Tonight as I got into bed (obviously not able to sleep, being that I'm up writing this now), I talked with Russ about everything. I said, "SO...what do you think about today?" and he goes, "I dunno. It went ok, I guess... it was nice." So then I started talking about the girls and how one of the older ones told me before we left, "I just asked my mom how come we don't see you, Uncle Russell, Alyson and Nana very often." It BROKE MY HEART. I wanted to cry. I told her, "Well, we'll be coming over with your uncle Jon and Aunt Krissy at Christmas!" ANd she smiled and said, "Ok... but you need to come over before then. Come over before Monday, ok?" Then she just smiled and I gave her a big hug, trying to fight back tears as I walked out the door. So tonight when I talked with Russ about what she said, I started crying again and had to get out of bed for some "alone time" just to think. So here I am, blogging away.

This just sucks because I NEVER grew up around any disagreement in my family. I've never had to deal with not talking or associating with family members until I married into Russ's family, so I don't know HOW to deal with it. I just know I miss those kids like crazy and I just hope Russ and his mom and brother can resolve their differences and we can go back to spending more time together again. I know it's never gonna be a perfect relationship, but I'm hoping today was a small step in the right direction for everybody.

Here is a pic we had taken at the end of the day... My mother-in-law's husband's children are on the left hand side in the back. They are all sooo nice! In the front are all Russ's brother's kids :-)

2 comments:

RecoveringCoffeeholic said...

I love the family picture! It's very sweet.

Marisa said...

It stinks that you haven't been able to have a relationship with your nieces and nephew because of all the family strife. Hopefully this was the beginning of everyone putting aside their differences.

FYI, I decided to go private with my blog. You can email me at greggsgirl111@yahoo.com with your email address so that I can send you an invite. :)