Frustrations I had to get off my chest.

I don't know whether I've mentioned this before in here, but Russ's brother J is getting married next month... his brother who nobody thought was ever going to settle down and get married! He's such a free spirit and LOVES LOVES LOVES traveling and going on weekend or weeklong hunting trips, and for awhile there, he was scared of not being able to do that anymore if he was married. Well, long story short... he took a break from his now-fiancee (an AWESOME girl he's been dating for over 3 years) for awhile so they (well, HE) could figure things out, and he realized that he couldn't live without her in his life. (awww...) His fiancee K is a teacher and one day, he surprised her by walking into her classroom and asking if he could read her class (2nd graders, I believe) a story. He had made a whole book himself, and it talked about marriage and family and what a good wife/husband is.... K had no idea what was going on....and at the end of it, he proposed to her. (My description just really didn't do his proposal justice, but that's a quick summary.)

So this wedding is in March in Minnesota. Russ is all flipping out because he is the best man, and if it is snowing alot here or there, he won't be able to go. (For his business, they do snow removal too, for alot of businesses in the tri-state area.) He said that if it's snowing here, there's no way he can go because he has to oversee the employees, and there are certain things only he can take care of if problems arise. AND...if it's snowing alot in MN, he's not going to take the chance of getting stuck at the airport there due to the weather.

So for awhile, he refused to make a decision as to plane tickets, hotel reservation, etc.... he kept telling me, "Go with my mom or someone, I'll go up last-minute if I have to." I didn't want to do that, so I FINALLY talked him into getting tickets with friends of ours. At least if it's not snowing, we can all go together. If for some reason Russ can't go with me, at least I won't be by myself. I'd just much rather us all go up together.

So after all this was planned, we started talking about seeing Russ and J's brother T at the wedding, who lives near us and who we haven't seen in almost 2 years due to many many family issues, mostly between T and their mom. T has basically cut Russ's mom out of his life due to stuff that happened in the past that he can't seem to put behind him. She can't even see her other 5 grandchildren now! During all this, Russ's mom would always call us and tell us all the hurtful things T said or did... Russ finally got so upset about how hurt his mom was, he doesn't want anything to do with T. Needless to say, none of us have spoken since, oh, May 2006 or so. It's just a sad situation. I just miss the kids, mostly. Alyson has 5 cousins she's never met, and may not get the CHANCE to meet.

So anyway, we were talking about seeing all of them at the wedding, and how awkward it would probably be. (T would be a groomsman, and his kids would be ringbearer/flowergirls, so Russ and T and the kids would be seeing a lot of eachother.) I thought, "Well, he'll either be civil for J's sake, or just ignore everyone altogether."

WELL. Come to find out from Russ's mom today..... T has decided that since their mom is going to be there, he is no longer going to go to the wedding. He isn't going to be in it, and his children won't be in it due to him "not being emotionally ready to see his mother." COME ON, NOW! He couldn't have made this decision at the beginning, before his kids got all excited and got their dresses?! I just don't get it. He's no doubt hurting his kids, not to mention he's hurting his brother J...on his WEDDING DAY! J acts like it doesn't bother him, but I'm sure he's hurt that his own brother won't be attending his wedding.

I'm just not used to all this family conflict. My family has always gotten along, and so I guess I just don't understand how people can act like this to their own flesh and blood. All this stuff stems from things in the past that are NOTHING to take lightly....but still. T and his family say and act like they are devout Catholics, but it's very hypocritical in my opinion to be so full of hate and refuse to forgive. That's not practicing what you preach, you know? What is that teaching his children? That if someone hurts you, refuse to reconcile and just cut them out of your lives forever?! Those kids are THE sweetest kids, and God knows what they are being told by their parents. From what I hear, they're being told, "Your Nana doesn't love you or care about you anymore, that's why you don't see her." I know they're hurt by all of this too... one of the girls emailed RUss's mom and asked, "Why don't you come over anymore?" and evidentally T or their mom found out and ended that little form of communication real quick. (Newsflash! Eventually those kids will get to the age where they can make their OWN decisions about who they see and talk to, and will learn the TRUTH about why they haven't seen their family!) They are probably being told that Russ and I don't care about seeing them either. That couldn't be further from the truth about how we feel. I really miss those kids, and I have a feeling that unless we just happen to randomly run into them while we're out in town, we're never going to see them. This whole thing just makes me so upset. I just wish everyone could just be civil to eachother and let things go. People make mistakes...it happens.

I don't know why I decided to post about this tonight... I'm just so frustrated by this whole thing. I DESPISE conflict. I'm a "can't we all just get along" type person. So, "Can't the Hunt family just FRICKIN GET ALONG?!"

*sigh*