Crying so hard I can hardly breathe...

My parents got their pug dog, Otis Pugsley, back in 1993. I was 13 years old. I still remember the day so clearly... February 12, 1993 my mom, dad and I went to Ohio Valley Mall in St. Clairsville for a day of shopping. Of course, when we walked by Petland, I insisted that we just HAD to go in. You know, just to "look." We had just lost our dog Jamie (aka Boo Boo) to congestive heart failure in the beginning of January 1993. My parents didn't know whether they wanted another dog or not, but they said we could go in "just to look." We saw a little pug puppy in the store, which was a breed of dog my mom and I LOVED. I asked my parents if I could get the dog out to pet it, and they of course said no. While their backs were turned, I asked one of the girls working if she'd let me hold the pug. Well...my parents came back over to me, and to their surprise, there I was, holding the pug and totally falling in love with it. Though I missed Boo Boo and nothing could replace him in my heart, I SO wanted another dog.

We oohed and aahed over the dog for a bit, then reluctantly I had to say goodbye to the little guy because of course my parents said no...we didn't need another dog yet. So we walked down the mall a ways and decided to get something to eat. The WHOLE TIME we were in the restaurant, I was just CRYING MY EYES OUT....I wanted that dog so badly. (And I also mentioned it'd be a great birthday present for my mom, who has a Valentine's Day birthday!) All my whining and crying finally paid off, and my parents agreed that we could get the dog. I was ECSTATIC!! I practically ran back to the pet store. Once we got there, we got the dog out right away, and decided to name him Otis Pugsley, after the movie "The Adventures of Milo and Otis," which was popular at that time. (Well actually, we named him Milo for a day, til we realized Milo was the CAT in the movie. So we changed it to Otis. But anyway....)

Once we adopted Otis,they put the cutest little blue bow around his neck, and I proudly carried him through the mall. He was soooo tiny,probably 8-9 inches long at the time. I was in love with his little black mask and curly little tail. We walked down the mall to the Kmart there, and bought him a collar, dog bed, food, etc.

On the way home, he stayed in the back seat with me, in his little dog bed. I just stared at him the whole way home, and thought that he resembled Gizmo from the Gremlins. In a good way, of course. He just looked all around, wondering where it was we were taking him. I remember hearing my parents telling eachother, "I can't believe we got another dog...." lol

So that was the day we got Otis. It still feels like yesterday. Hard to believe it was 17 years ago. Little did we know he'd live such a long and full life with our family!

Today is Otis's 17th birthday. Unfortunately, it is not a happy day for our family. Two days ago, my parents took him to the vet because he's had infections in his mouth and recently some bleeding. They noticed an abscess on his gums, and it hasn't been getting any better with antibiotics. They decided to take him in to see if there was anything else that could be done. They discovered that the abscess is actually an agressive tumor that has already invaded the soft palate (back of the roof of the mouth.) The doctor said it won't get any better, and sent my parents home with some pain medicine to keep Otis comfortable, since he's been whining a lot lately. He didn't give a time frame he thinks Otis will live, nor did he recommend putting him to sleep or anything. He basically left that up to my parents, since they said Otis is still eating well and getting around ok.

Over the past few days, Otis is whining/crying a lot more, and my parents said it's been a struggle to give him his pain medicine. It's so bitter, he barely gets it down. My parents want to enjoy what little time with him they have left, but they obviously don't want him to suffer either. Tonight on the phone my mom said he is still eating, but not able to stand up very well. I told her that we have no idea how far the cancer has spread, and that he could very well be in a lot of pain. They wanted putting him to sleep to be the last option, but unfortunately that is going to happen sooner than later.

When I called my parents tonight, they said they've talked it over and tomorrow they are making the painful decision to have Otis put to sleep. They just can't bear to see him suffer any longer. So today they are loving him as much as they can and just showering him with hugs and kisses and lots of good food. Poor little guy...

I am just sobbing uncontrollably as I write this. Whenever in the past my mom has talked about losing Otis some day, it hasn't bothered me much. I think, "Ok, he's going to be 17, he's had an awesome life, and there's nothing we can say we WISH we did with him. He's done it all, practically... we gave him a great life." And that's always made me feel better. But now-- being face with it, right smack in the face-- knowing it's going to happen tomorrow-- I am crying like a baby. That's my little buddy, ya know? I mean, I was 13 when we got him and over half of my life includes memories of him. Whether a dog is young or very old-- it doesn't make any difference in how utterly devastated losing them makes you feel. This whole situation brings back a whole flood of emotions where losing our 9 month old boxer Max to lymphoma is concerned. Every emotion I felt then is all rushing back and it feels like we're losing him all over again too.

It's just so sad knowing this is his last night with his family. His last night snuggling up to my parents in bed at night. His last meals in the house... I know he's going to a better place where he won't be hurting or suffering anymore, but it doesn't make my heart hurt any less. Little did I know when I saw him last week over at my parents' house, it would be the last time I'd pet him and kiss his little head ever again.

I'll miss you little buddy... til we see eachother again. I love you.

**God, please give my parents strength to get through this tomorrow.**

Halloween update, since I have pics now...

A little update with pictures, since I didn't have access to my pics last time I posted!

Here are some pictures of Alyson at Halloween... she was a little bumblebee. Russ and I took her over my parents' house, since we don't get many trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood. She LOVED LOVED LOVED giving out candy to all the trick-or-treaters! We gave out candy from the front porch, but she'd take handfuls and stand out on the sidewalk, waiting for the trick-or-treaters to come by! A few times I had to tell her that, no, she couldn't take something back OUT of someone's bag after giving them candy. She was trying to develop a candy exchange system, I guess...lol. "Here, you take this Reese's cup, and I want those chips...."

So here are the pics:

Aly (complete with chocolate face) with my cousin's daughter Olivia, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood.


Stuffing her face...


Waiting for trick-or-treaters...notice the chocolate smeared on her pants...haha!


Tootsie roll anyone? Or maybe you'd prefer some Dots?



I'll post more pics soon...Aly just woke up from her nap(Yes!! She took a NAP!! Yay!), so I gotta go upstairs now.

Hope everyone's having a great week so far.

News :-)

Ok, so....wow. I knew I hadn't updated in awhile, but jeez!!! Better get to it. Lots to update about, but I'll stick to the important one...

For those of you who haven't found out from my Facebook account (that's where I've been keeping updated with everyone, mostly!), Russ and I are expecting Baby Hunt #2! We found out right after coming back from NC in early September. I had a hunch I was pregnant, being that I was totally craving jalapeno poppers when we went out to eat on vacation, and I am SO NOT one who likes hot and spicy food.

As of today, I'm 13w1d pregnant and due on May 19th, 2010. Alyson will be just over 1 month from turning 3 years old! Russ and I are really excited about everything. He's really hoping for a boy this time around, his "Junior," as he calls him... but I will be happy either way. If it's another girl, I am totally set where clothes are concerned...the new baby will be in the same size during the same seasons...can't get any better than that.

I had my first ultrasound a few weeks ago, at a little over 11 weeks, and everything looked great. I'd post a pic, but I'm not on my own computer right now, so I don't have access to it... I'll do that soon. Baby's heartrate was 176bpm, so according to the old wive's tale, that's a "girl heartbeat"....but we'll see. With Alyson, I just KNEW she was a girl, there was no doubt in my mind from the very beginning. But with this one-- I have no idea. SOmething's telling me "boy" but I don't know.

I asked the ultrasound tech at my OB office when they usually do the gender ultrasounds, and she said 25 weeks. I REALLY can't wait that long!! That'll be the end of January or early February!! If that's the case, I'm gonna go somewhere around here and have an elective gender ultrasound done, maybe in Pittsburgh or something. I told the ultrasound girl that I'd like to find out before Christmas (I'll be 19 weeks the week of Christmas, and I found out with Aly at 18 weeks...) and she said, "I can take a look around for you then." So MAYBE they'll do one in the office early for me. I'd just like to know before Christmas...it'd be a great present :-)

Well, my lovely angel of a toddler is upstairs banging around, so I guess that means she doesn't want to take a nap...which equals her trashing her room. The past 4 days it has been a struggle to get her to take a nap. I think she's trying to get away from naps, but I'm trying to hang onto her naps with a death grip as long as I can!! At least for my own sanity...haha.

Picture time!

Here are pictures of our trip to Ocean City, MD in June.

Here are pics of Alyson's 2nd Birthday Party, 6/21/09 -- Dora the Explorer theme!

2am rambles...

Ugh.... here it is, 2am and I'm STILL awake. I'm so extremely worn out by this sinus cold I have, but I can't seem to fall asleep. My eyes hurt, my ears ache, my throat is scratchy... and it sucks. No one should get sick in the summertime!!

Anyway, since I'm wide awake, I figured I might as well attempt to stay updated with my blog. I really need to update this with pictures from Aly's birthday, vacation, etc... I started a post with pictures last week, but when I went to preview my post, the pics were all screwed up, so I just saved it as a draft and haven't gotten back to it.

Anyway, here are the updates from the past week or so...

Starting with yesterday... we had a little scare where our boxer Cody was concerned. He and Lucy were napping in the living room while I talked on the phone with my mom... then I see Cody get up and start walking around, only he couldn't keep his balance for anything. I immediately called Russ to come home, luckily he was just next door in his office. I started saying Cody's name and he was just ZONED and wouldn't respond to me, and his pupils were all dilated. He'd try to lift his back legs and it seemed like he was sorta stomping around at one point, only he didn't have the strength in his legs to keep from wobbling around. I held onto him and he was trembling, poor thing. He got himself up on the couch and stayed there for a few minutes, while I called the vet and explained what was going on. They said we could bring him right in... thank God we only live a few minutes from the vet. So Russ opened the door to the basement where we keep the dogs' leashes, and Cody LEAPT off the couch, like nothing was even wrong!! The whole episode only lasted 5 minutes or so!

Since Alyson was napping, Russ took Cody by himself to the vet. He said Cody was still kinda weak and wouldn't jump out of the Navigator like he usually does... Russ had to lift him down (and he's about 90 pounds!) The vet said that more than likely it was a mild seizure. They checked his temp (their temp will increase during a seizure) and ended up drawing a CBC to check for any abnormalities where his labs are concerned. They said we'd find out the results by Wednesday, but the vet called us this afternoon and said everything was fine. He said just to keep an eye on Cody and that if he has another episode like that within the next 2-6 weeks, they can put him on medicine if need be. So we'll see. I'm just praying this was just a one-time thing and he won't have that happen again! He's back to his same ornery energetic self today, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed :-)

(cough cough sniffle sniffle, sneeze.... this cold sucks.....)

Anyway, so that was the excitement of the past few days. In other news... I'm trying to potty train Alyson. That's going really well. *rolls eyes*(Sense the SERIOUS SARCASM.) I just don't get it. Alyson knows when she goes to the bathroom and will occasionally look at me and go "poo" or "pee pee!" She knows how to put her potty seat on our toilet, she knows to take her pants/diaper off, and she even knows to get toilet paper... but she won't do a darn thing once she gets on the toilet. I guess she's *almost* ready but not quite there yet. I just don't want to MAKE her sit on the toilet and then have her not want to go on it at all because she associates it with me forcing her to do it, ya know?! *sigh* And what sucks is that now she's in the "I want to take my diaper off ALL THE TIME" stage. I brought out her big girl undies and she was all excited so I figured she'd want to keep them on, but no. They came right off too, within about 2 minutes. So that's our adventures in potty training for now... fun fun.

Well, I really need to try and get some sleep now... Alyson doesn't get the fact that mommy isn't feeling well and would love to sleep in for a change. She'll be up at her usual 8am or so, I'm sure... so that gives me less than six hours of sleep.

Nighty night!

Updates, good and not-so-good

Wow, it's been awhile since I've posted... as usual. A lot's been going on, so I'll try to give the short version of updates.

Most recently...
4th of July was awesome... we spent the day out on the boat on the good ol' Ohio River. The weather was beautiful, blue skies and sunny. We went out to dinner with friends, then back down to the boat to watch the fireworks on the river... good times! Aly went to my Grandma's with my mom and dad to watch the fireworks. My Gram lives close to where the fireworks are let off, so everyone usually goes over there and watches them from the backyard. I wasn't sure how Aly would do with being REALLY close to the fireworks, so I figured I'd wait til next year to take her with us. Come to find out, she LOVED the fireworks and just stared in awe at the sky, going "Woah! Wow wow!" when the big ones let off. Too cute.

What else to talk about that's been going on recently... Oh. We just got back from vacation last week... we spent some time in Ocean City, MD with friends of ours and their 3 kids. We stayed right on the boardwalk which was awesome! Lots of nightlife. Not that we could really enjoy it with 4 kids ages 4 and under, but it was still nice to sit out on the balcony late at night and enjoy some 'adult beverages.' haha But yeah, like I said-- 4 kids ages 4, going on 3, 2, and 18 months. Mass chaos all around! haha It was definitely a good time though. The beach was beautiful, and the weather cooperated the whole time we were there. Which was only 4 days, but long enough to get somewhat relaxed. (Before making the 8-hr trip home...fun fun.) I miss it! Russ, Aly and I are heading to the Outer Banks in September, so now I have THAT beach to look forward to :-)

As for Alyson, she's doing great. We had a Dora the Explorer birthday party for her on the 21st of June. She had a BLAST! We had a pinata in the shape of a #2, and all the kids loved it. The weather cooperated for that too, which was great because there were 30-some people there and the house would have been kinda crowded if it decided to rain!

Aly's 2-yr checkup at the pediatrician went well... she's 36 inches tall and weighs 34 pounds... higher than 100th percentile! My baby is off the charts. No wonder everyone always asks me if she's 3. She's gonna be a tall one. I figure I'm 5'5 and Russ is 6 ft, so she'll probably end up somewhere in between. She's just growing like a weed, and is into something new everyday. SO curious!!! Her latest antic was to flood our upstairs bathroom. Yeah... that was fun. You see, she always goes up the stairs and plays in her room, that's just an everyday thing. So i didn't think anything of it when she went up there the other day. Well, she had gone into the bathroom and decided to stick a bunch of baby wipes into the toilet and keep flushing and flushing and flushing. That toilet is pretty quiet so I didn't hear all this going on, I thought she was just playing in her room. But when the water started spilling onto the floor, I heard THAT. I thought she had turned the shower on, but no. I got to the top of the steps and saw water all over the floor about to head onto the hallway carpet!!! I had to turn the water off to the toilet and figure out what the heck she did. She was just laughing and laughing at the water falling onto the floor. Mommy, on the other hand, was NOT laughing. Ugh... eventually I got the situation under control, but not until after the extra water decided to drip down to the main floor by way of the counter over the stove, and then down to the basement. It basically made a path all the way down the house. NOT fun. I'm hoping we don't have anything like that happen ever again. I hope she got the toilet-plugging out of her system.

And we're thinking of having ANOTHER child?? haha

Yes, you read that right... we're officially "trying." Well, not TRYING trying, but we have the "if it happens it happens" attitude for now. We're not trying to prevent anything from happening. I was totally excited at the end of May to find out I was pregnant, only to have my excitement cut short by a miscarriage a week later. It was pretty crushing, because it is totally amazing how quickly you can come to embrace and love a child that you've never even met yet (and who is virtually the size of a pencil tip.) At first, I was surprised (because we weren't really expecting it and were actively house hunting at the time.) Then in the next breath I was TOTALLY excited, and Russ was too. To top it off, 2 days later my cousin/best friend found out SHE was pregnant, so we'd literally have been due days apart.

I knew to be cautious in the first weeks, but I still found myself planning for the future and how we'd redecorate our spare bedroom to make it the baby's room... it's just sad. But I know everything happens for a reason, even if we can't figure out what that reason is right now. The good thing about this whole situation, though, is that it really made us get our priorities in order and think about the future more. It REALLY brought my husband onboard where having another child is concerned. It was pretty much the furthest thing from his mind even a month ago, now he is all for trying. For now, we're putting our house-hunting on hold to focus on other things, like paying off bills!! My husband is in the process of putting up a huge building/garage on 10 acres he bought for his business, so that's taking up time and money. He's just running out of room where his garage is now, and his business is expanding, so that takes top priority over us buying a new house right now.

So now we're taking things day by day, and are excited to bring a new baby into this world when God decides to bless us with another one :-) Fingers crossed!

Well, I know there's still a lot to update on, but I need to get some things done around the house before Aly wakes up from her nap. Hope everyone (who still reads this or occasionally checks up on me) is doing well. Take care :-)

Blah blah blah. That's how I feel today!

Well, as I write this my daughter is running around getting into everything and I have absolutely no energy to get up and chase after her! I started getting a sinus cold yesterday and today it's definitely here in full force. Aly had me up just about every hour lastnight, and it turns out this sinus thing got her too... she had a little snotty nose this morning when she woke up, along with coughing and sneezing. We spent a lot of time around little kids this past weekend and had a playdate on Monday, so I'm thinking we caught something one of those days. I guess we've been lucky though... this is only the 2nd sinus cold Aly's had since she's been born. She was about 4 months old the last time she was sick!

Needless to say, I've gotten nothing accomplished today, except for caring for my little Alyson! She's eating and drinking ok, and doesn't have a fever as of yet (and hopefully she DOESN'T get one!) so we're good there. Here's hoping. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to my in-laws' house for dinner, but I talked with my MIL today and said there's a chance we might not be able to make it. I don't want to get anyone else sick, since these colds just started. So we'll see... I just feel like my head is a big balloon and everywhere in my head where there are sinuses just HURTS! Also my muscles are aching, especially my back...that happened last time I had a sinus cold. It sucks! Oh well, I guess I'd rather we be sick now instead of next week. Russ and I are leaving for Cancun on Thursday already!! 8 weeks went by pretty fast! I'm looking forward to the trip... we (especially Russ!) need to get away for a few days. Aly is staying with my MIL for a few days, then my mom and dad are watching her Friday and Saturday nights. Luckily, she's used to staying places, and so far she doesn't cry when we leave her with anyone. I hope that doesn't happen, or it'll make ME cry!

Well, I'd better go see what Aly's into. She's bringing me pieces of candy and handing them to me, and I didn't know we had candy in the house....hmmm.... Never a dull moment.

Hope everyone (if anyone still checks my blog, being that I post 1 time a month...lol) has a great Easter weekend! We're supposed to do lunch with my MIL and her husband, and then my parents are cooking dinner for us. :-) I can't wait to put Aly's little pink Easter dress on her! I'll be sure and post some pics soon.